did you get engaged???
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
