By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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