3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
