omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
