I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
