I just made out with a guy for $7.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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