Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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