I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
