It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
