Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Nicole vs. Life
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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