If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
