They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
