I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
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That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
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I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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