i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
