smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
