Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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