My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
