Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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