Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
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