Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
