I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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