Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I woke up under a house in Key West
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
