please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
