Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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