I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
