did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
