I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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