Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
