Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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