it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize