Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Randomize
