New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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