yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
