Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize