I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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