I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
