ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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