It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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