lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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