when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
