As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
