Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
