Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
