Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
