Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
