I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
