Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yo dont text me then not text me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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