you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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