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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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