so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
