I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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