Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
