he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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