I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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