I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
