If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
