Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize