we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
